I recently read my pastor’s book Defeating the Enemy, and I couldn’t walk away from it without telling you how it changed my life.

This line on page 111 brought about a life-changing perspective shift:

“It is not a sin to want something, until that something becomes an idol for you. You begin to worship it and long for it until it consumes your every thought. Eventually, you’ll do anything to get it.”

Page 111, Defeating the Enemy

It’s in the way God spoke to me through that part of this book that opened my eyes. I finally understand why my love life has been a failure. God has taken all the men from me because I’ve idolized them in His place.

My dad left when I was four, and never having healed from that, I filled the gap in my heart with the attention, affection, and love of every romantic opportunity. But every single one of the men I could have spent forever with have been taken from me, and I never understood why. Satan always tried to tell me it was because I wasn’t good enough. Because I wasn’t brunette. Because I wasn’t skinny enough. Because I have two kids. Because I’m Christian.

But the truth was because God is a jealous God, and He wanted the love I was devoting to all the men in my life. I see that now. Pastor Phil said, “You begin to worship it and long for it until it consumes your every thought,” and that is exactly what I was doing with every guy I was about to enter a relationship with. I would put every second of every day into getting that guy to be my boyfriend or spending every moment with him until my entire day was consumed by that man. Sometimes, that guy would come even before my children.

I always felt far away from God when I was with a man, and then as soon as that man left, I felt relieved, and I dragged myself back to God in misunderstood tears.

Finally! This book shed light on the WHY! Why this was always happening is because those men were getting the devotion and idolization that only God deserves. I was putting men above my Father and it was a sinful way to enter a relationship. So God cut it off before it ever got that far. God would take those idols out of my life and lead me back to His mercy and love. And I’m happier now than I’ve ever been in my life.

Thank you, Lord, for saving me!

What are you idolizing in your life that’s holding you captive and away from God’s love?

If you want to see how God through this book can change your life, too, here’s your chance: